The Breakup
by Jakespeed207
Summary: Life is a fickle thing, but most can agree it's almost never as happy as certain entertainment outlets show. What happens when a girl's feelings change after graduating from Vincennes Private Girls' Academy, leaving her one-year-younger boyfriend behind? Just like life, love is also a fickle thing, especially in inexperienced hands. (Short beginning chapters)
1. Chapter 1

I could see the ground in front of me. I recognized that I was standing in the middle of an empty alleyway. But that's as far as I knew.

There was no one around, and the only sound that rang out was the sound of falling rain, which drenched my body and soaked me to the bone.

But I didn't feel it.

I didn't feel anything but the despair that was clawing at my very soul.

I leaned against a wall and threw my head back, calling out a name to the sky.

"Ayaka-saaaaan!"

I let the cry continue until my lungs could go no more, then closed my mouth and slid down the wall until I was in a sitting position. I palmed my head in my hands, sobs shaking my frame.

"Why…?"

" _I'm sorry, Masaya-kun… But… There's… someone else. I've… fallen in love with someone else…"_

Those words chased themselves in circles around my head, driving me to the edge of insanity. I leaned back and smashed the back of my head against the wall, trying fruitlessly to forget, but all I managed was nearly giving myself a concussion.

Finally, left with nothing else, I slumped forward and let loose the floodgates of my eyes. I cried, unabashedly, for the girl that I loved. The girl whose heart had found another.

…


	2. Chapter 2

The rain that was falling was covering everything in sight, as if the heavens were crying. And for one blue-haired girl, watching it fall from underneath the awning of a store, it only made the guilt and pain in her chest increase.

"I'm sorry, Masaya-kun…" Ayaka whispered, holding a hand to her chest and sobbing lightly. "I'm sorry… that I hurt you…"

As she cried for hurting the young man who had captured her heart in her last year in Vincennes Private Girls Academy, Ayaka became aware of her phone ringing. Pulling it out of her bag, she checked the caller ID and realized it was her mother.

"Hello?" Ayaka said as she picked up the call.

" _Ayaka, are you outside right now? Did you get caught up in the rain?"_ Ayaka's mother, Misako, said from the other side of the line, her voice full of concern.

Quickly wiping her eyes and controlling her voice, she responded, "I'm fine, Mom. I'm going to wait the rain out in a restaurant. Don't stay up waiting for me, okay?"

" _If you say so. I left some food for you in the refrigerator, okay?"_

"Thanks, mom. See you soon," Ayaka smiled as she finished the call. She was extremely happy that her mother, her _actual_ mother, was now truly trying to be her mother, and while she could be a little overbearing at times, Ayaka knew that it was all with good intentions.

But thinking about that only brought about thoughts of the young man she had just broken up with, the one who had done his utmost to help her.

Looking back up to the crying sky, she could almost imagine the clouds sympathizing with Masaya's feelings, and if he refused to cry… well, the clouds would do it for him.

She teared up as she imagined that and, deciding to ignore her earlier plan, she pulled out an umbrella from her bag and opened it, preparing herself to walk away from there and get home already. However, before she could even take a step, she heard it.

A voice that sounded far away, but that even through the rain, she heard it.

A familiar voice filled with despair.

" _Ayaka-saaaaaaan!"_

Ayaka gasped as she heard that, and her heart beat painfully. She knew that voice. Looking back at the direction it had come from, she gazed with sad, crying eyes at the thought of Masaya, alone and in the rain, thinking of nothing but her. With cries escaping her mouth, she turned back and hurried away, continuously saying one phrase in her mind as she walked away from the voice.

' _I'm sorry, Masaya-kun!'_

…

…

…


	3. Chapter 3

The rain was still falling unrelentingly when the Gardiane officers on duty at the gate spotted a person approaching the gates. The three closest ones turned and watched the silhouette of the person, which became apparent moments later as a lightning strike passed through the sky.

"Ah, Okonogi Masaya-," The Gardiane officer that said his name stopped mid-sentence when she finally processed Masaya's image. His shoulders were slumped, his bangs overshadowed his eyes, and his walk was stiff and robotic, as if he was on autopilot. He didn't even try to get out of the rain, ignoring it as if it were a mere annoyance. In fact, he didn't even register the Gardiane officers until he was right in front of the gate. When he looked up, the Gardiane members gasped as they noticed his deadened and red eyes, and the way his mouth was set in a tight line.

"Are… are you alright?" one of the officers asked with concern, approaching him.

Masaya didn't even react to her touch, remaining stoic the entire time. Realising what he was waiting for, one of the officers gave the signal to open the gates. A moment later, with a grating sound, the gates slid open, and Masaya continued his walk, the stares of the Gardiane at his back.

"What do you think could have happened to make him act like this?" one of the Gardiane said, looking at her companions.

"I don't know… but we'll find out soon," another responded, knowing the speed with which gossip flew through the school.

…

…

…


	4. Chapter 4

Several months later, it was finally graduation for Masaya.

Ever since the break-up between him and Ayaka, he had become distant for a short time. His friends had become worried, naturally, so he made an excuse that his mother had fallen ill but had recovered well. In truth, he had isolated himself for some time to deal with his rampant feelings and to try to get them under control.

As Masaya sat on one of the chairs situated on the gym's stage, he watched with a smile as Rise gave a speech to the whole room. He tuned out most of it, already knowing it as Rise had used him as practice for the real thing, but when he saw her finish and the audience clap for her, he felt happy.

Soon enough, he received his diploma and looked it over, realising it looked almost exactly like the one for last year's graduating class. The only difference was that this one, naturally, had his class' graduating year instead. He tossed it up and down a few times as the headmistress finished closing the ceremony and allowed everyone to leave and convene with their families. As he stood up and began to walk down, he caught the small smile that the headmistress sent him, one filled with compassion, and he smiled tenderly back. She had quickly found out what Ayaka had done, and while she did feel bad and slightly angry, she understood that Ayaka had fallen for someone else, and who was she to dictate her daughter's feelings? However, being the headmistress of the school, she could also see how much this had hurt the young man. She had called him into her office a few times to see if he wanted to talk about it, but instead of talking about how he felt, every time he would ask how Ayaka was doing. And though she was loath to hurt him further, she answered his questions truthfully. Whenever she saw a heartbroken but pleased smile appear on his face when she said that Ayaka was happy, she knew that this young man's affections weren't a simple attraction. He was truly and deeply in love with her eldest daughter, to the point where, even if it hurt him, he would be happy if she was happy.

Turning away from her, Masaya sought out his mother amongst the crowd and didn't have to search for long. She came bounding towards him and hugged him, a proud smile on her face.

"Hey, mom," Masaya smiled as he hugged her back.

"Oh, I'm so proud of you, Masaya," his mother gushed.

"I'm happy to hear that," Masaya grinned at her, tightening his hug. Once that was done, he grabbed her hand and pulled her outside, where he had seen some of his friends exit. "Come on, I've got to introduce you to a few of my friends!"

As they walked outside, Masaya looked around surreptitiously and wasn't surprised to see the very object of his affections near the stage, talking with her mother and sister. Ayaka and Misako seemed to be in deep conversation, so they didn't notice, but Ritsuko noticed his stare and sent him a small wave, which he reciprocated.

Ritsuko had been another one that had disapproved of Ayaka breaking up with Masaya, and she was a little more verbose in her 'scolding' than her mother was. In the end, though, she was able to understand her sister's feelings in the matter and let it drop, though her respect and own slight fascination with Masaya led her to never truly forgive her for hurting him. Ayaka came by the school to visit her sister often, but on such days, no matter how much anyone tried, Masaya would be impossible to find. Ritsuko herself refused to take messages to him, simply because she realised two things: Ayaka would have to initiate the contact with Masaya if she wanted to talk to him, and Masaya would most likely be hurt by any messages Ayaka left with her sister.

As the pair of mother and son walked outside, Masaya looked around and found his friends and their families gathered at a corner of the Rose Garden. With a wan smile, he approached them.

"Ah, Masaya-san!" Rise called out, noticing his approach. The rest of the people also turned, regarding Masaya with slightly critical eyes.

"Masaya-kun! How have you been?" Chiho's mother called out as she ran towards him, immediately bringing him into a hug.

Masaya chuckled and hugged her back fiercely. "I've been very well, thank you. I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit since coming back."

"Nonsense, you were busy," Chiho's mother chided him.

As Masaya introduced his mom to the group and the adults began to talk amongst themselves, the graduates moved away a little and made their own group.

"So, what are your plans for now?" Masaya asked the group, which consisted of Rise, Chiho, Ruriko, and Mitsuki.

"Well, I am planning to go into Vincennes Women's College," Rise said simply, smiling at him.

"Same here," Chiho said. "I don't have a lot of ideas on what I'm going to do, exactly, but I did get a scholarship in Athletics."

"Nice! Though, honestly, it's a bit expected," Masaya chuckled.

Ruriko and Mitsuki had similar ideas.

"Huh, so you're all going to be going to school together next year anyways," Masaya summarised.

"What about you, Masaya?" Chiho asked him, making the rest of the girls focus on him.

Masaya closed his eyes momentarily. "Okay, before I say it, you have to promise me that you won't get mad at my decision."

The girls made their promises, and Masaya sighed. "I… decided I'm going to go into the army."

Shocked silence followed his declaration. Then, the four girls exclaimed in tandem, "You're what?!"

Masaya winced slightly. "You heard me. I'm planning to join the army."

"But… but why?" Mitsuki asked him.

Masaya looked down momentarily. "I've done so many things in such a short time that I think I just need this, you know? I know there's a lot more things I can do, but I want to try something a little new."

That, however, was only part of the explanation. In truth, Masaya was hoping that doing this would take his mind off of his current mental predicament of being so focused on Ayaka. It would like be considered stupid by many that he would be so infatuated with someone that he would do something so drastic in hopes it worked in making him forget her, but that was how he felt. Additionally, he knew that no matter what he did, unless he studied abroad, he would be studying or working further here in Tsurugigaoka, and that came with the risk of seeing Ayaka again, maybe even by pure chance, something he _did not_ want.

"Well, we did promise," Rise sighed. "And it is your choice, Masaya-san. Just take care out there, okay?"

"You don't even have to tell me," Masaya assured her. "I know I need to be careful."

The group chatted for a little longer, but after a few minutes, Masaya excused himself from them, claiming that he wanted to take a walk on his own. The foursome of girls watched as he walked away and disappeared into the crowd that had gathered at the courtyard and Rose Garden.

"He's still hurting, isn't he?" Mitsuki asked aloud, leading the rest of the girls to nod sadly.

"I may love Masaya-san, but that pales in comparison to what he feels for Ayaka-sama," Ruriko said with a sigh.

"He just can't catch a break, can he?" Chiho wondered aloud.

"You know… sometimes I wonder if it was a blessing… or a curse… that Masaya-san came here," Rise admitted, bringing all attention to her. "I don't mean for us. I'm talking about him. Think about it. He has gone through so much these last years that it is a wonder he is not mentally broken. And when we all thought he would finally be able to relax and be normal, this happens to him."

The girls understood what she meant. About a month after Masaya had stopped isolating himself, the girls had deduced what had happened when they realised the timing of Ayaka's visits to Vincennes coincided perfectly with the times Masaya would simply disappear without a word. It was as if he knew when she would come to Vincennes and was doing everything in his power to avoid her. Ayaka, conversely, always asked about him, and his whereabouts. Each time, she would be disappointed by the fact that none of them knew, and they could see that she was seriously hurt by the mere idea of Masaya avoiding her. They didn't know the specifics, but they had pieced it together well enough: something had happened between the two, with Ayaka being the most likely cause of it, and it had hurt Masaya deeply enough that he didn't want to have any contact with Ayaka.

Additionally, they had all easily noticed the increased bags under the young man's eyes. When asked, he would make excuses about schoolwork and slight insomnia, but the fact that the bags refused to leave and, instead, seemed to be getting larger, pointed to this being a faulty reason. Mitsuki, ironically, was the one who had found out just why Masaya had such bags. On a moonlit night, she was strolling back to the dorms after meeting with her Onee-sama at a restaurant, the school's enforcement of the isolation rule becoming quite lax on their third year, and noticed the silhouette of a person on the dormitory's roof. A squinted look had been all it took for her to realize who it was, but by the time she reached the roof, the young man was gone.

Sighing in exasperation and sadness, the girls turned to the group of adults, intent on talking with his mother.

…

Masaya was currently walking around the campus, his face set into an expressionless mask. If one were to follow him, one would think his route to be random. But it wasn't. Masaya, almost unconsciously, was retracing the same route that he had walked with Ayaka when she had graduated a year before. He soon reached the Rose Garden and sat at one of the tables, closing his eyes and simply thinking back to that time. By now, with the time that had passed, the pains in his chest had significantly lessened, but by no means disappeared, and every time he thought of those days, his mood would sink faster than an anvil in water.

After some minutes of reminiscing, Masaya stood and walked away, now intent on heading towards the only other place he went to often. The one place that, ironically, no one tried to check when he disappeared.

Reaching the gates of the school, he gave a nod towards the Gardiane on duty as he passed. When he heard that the Gardiane had also hypothesized what had happened between himself and Ayaka, he had talked to them alone and confirmed the issue. He had also asked a favour from them: that whenever they spotted Ayaka coming to the school, they inform him, whether by a call or text. They had thankfully agreed, which was how he always knew when Ayaka was coming and how to avoid her.

Keeping his face expressionless, Masaya climbed the gravel road that led to the Guardian Tree, his thoughts tumultuous. He was hardly aware of the world around him, keeping just enough awareness to not run into anything or trip on a rock.

Soon, he reached the tree. He immediately approached the fence that blocked the people from the cliff, looking down at Vincennes and watching the ant-like people moving back and forth.

As he stood there, he breathed deeply and closed his eyes, revelling in the calm atmosphere the place provided. He worked on getting his thoughts in order first, then trying his best to calm the pain and hurt that thinking about the past caused.

"Masaya-sama?"

Masaya opened his eyes and looked to the side, spotting a young girl approaching his position. The voice and dark-green hair were an immediate giveaway as to who it was.

"Konomi-chan? What are you doing here?" Masaya asked, curious as to why the young girl was here and why she seemed to be awkwardly shifting in place.

"I... Um... I followed you here, Masaya-sama," Konomi admitted.

Masaya's other eyebrow raised in a show of surprise. "Why?"

Konomi explained how she had seen him begin to walk away from his friends and how he looked very downtrodden, so she followed and watched him out of curiosity and worry.

"Ah, I see," Masaya nodded in understanding, turning back to the view of the cliff-side. Konomi watched him for a few seconds, then asked the question that was burning in her mind.

"Masaya-sama... Are you truly alright?"

Looking at the young woman, Masaya could tell that she had been briefed on the situation, most likely by Ritsuko. He opened his mouth, intent on telling her the same lie he had told everyone else, but this time, the two words wouldn't leave his mouth. He tried again, his effort making him look like a drowning fish, but once again, his body betrayed his intentions. Finally, he sighed and looked away.

"No, I suppose I'm not," Masaya relented.

Konomi nodded, expecting this, and calmly walked to the Guardian Tree, sitting with her back leaning against it and smoothing out the skirt she had worn to the graduation ceremony. Masaya looked back at her as she did so, and couldn't help but crack a smile when she patted the grass next to her calmly. With an amused smile, he walked over and sat next to her, leaning his head back against the tree and closing his eyes as a breeze passed by, making his much longer locks of hair flutter in the wind. Konomi watched him, noticing how his shoulders remained tense despite his seemingly calm face. She knew he was hurting much more deeply that he let on, but that was one of the drawbacks of his personality. He'd never place a burden on someone else's shoulder if he could help it, even if that person was willing to help him carry it. Instead, she patiently waited.

Finally, after a few minutes, Masaya opened his eyes, and Konomi noticed how his irises had lost their lustre, becoming a dull brown. Her heart clenched painfully just looking at them.

"Konomi," Masaya said suddenly, his eyes unfocused. The lack of the -chan honorific made her realize whatever was on his mind was serious. "Do you ever wonder what happens to us after we die?"

Konomi raised an eyebrow at the topic Masaya had broached, but dutifully answered. "Not to any particular depth, Masaya-sama. Why do you ask?"

Masaya remained quiet for a short time, then chuckled mirthlessly. "I never did either. But this entire year, I've been pondering that question. Just what happens to us after we go? Do we just enter a dark oblivion? Is there truly a heaven and hell? Things like that. And after some time, I chose to believe that our souls follow a path after the physical body dies. Maybe it leaves for another adventure. Or maybe it finds a soon-to-be-born babe and latches onto it, wiping away the thoughts of its previous life."

"Masaya-sama, where are you going with this?" Konomi asked.

Masaya turned to look at her, and Konomi was shocked to see the utter blankness in his gaze. When he spoke, his voice was just as dead. "What I always wondered was... Where does a broken soul go?" Konomi gasped at the question, but Masaya continued unimpeded. "For a soul that's lost its way, what path is there to take? When a soul is crushed beyond repair, and when its owner sees no light at the end of that stereotypical tunnel, what's left? Does it simply disappear? Does it go to heaven or hell? Does it reincarnate? Or does it simply remain latched onto the earth, forever doomed to wander aimlessly, watching as those it knew die and move on? If that's the case, how can that soul move on? Can it fix the mistake that broke it when it can't even interact with the world anymore? Or is it unable to do so? What then?"

After Masaya quieted down, the area remained uncharacteristically silent. Konomi had no response to Masaya's philosophical questions, and likewise, Masaya had nothing else to say. The pair remained sitting there in semi-comfortable silence until Masaya abruptly stood up and looked around for a moment.

"Masaya-sama?" Konomi questioned.

Masaya didn't respond, simply looking around a bit more. Finally, after a few moments, he sighed and looked back at Konomi. "Konomi-chan, I'm going to head back. Are you coming?"

The abruptness of Masaya's departure drew Konomi short, but in the end, she shook her head. "No, Masaya-sama. I think I will remain here a bit longer."

Masaya nodded and turned away, walking down the path between the trees and eventually out of sight. Konomi sighed and stood up, turning to look at the scenery just past the Guardian Tree.

She had been present when Ayaka and Ritsuko had first fought over what Ayaka had done. She was not able to take a side on the matter, even as much as she loved her Onee-sama, and as such, she ended up simply sitting on the side-lines and watching as the sisters' voices reached higher and higher pitches. However, in all that, and listening to both sides place their arguments on the metaphorical table, she was able to draw the right conclusion.

Ayaka had broken up with Masaya because she had fallen in love with another man.

Konomi knew through both Masaya and Ritsuko that Ayaka was a woman that prized, above all else in a relationship, truth and loyalty. As such, she could see why Ayaka had reacted as she did. She did not want to betray Masaya, and yet, she wanted to be with the man her love had shifted to, a man by the name of Yamamoto Taizo that went to a school near Ayaka's, according to what Ritsuko had told her. Vincennes Women's College had gone on a joint field trip with the college Taizo attended, and while there, they had apparently bonded. Ritsuko had not been forthcoming with details to Konomi, but she could piece together that much.

When Ayaka returned from the field trip, at least a week went by before she made her choice, during which she had been very withdrawn and pensive. She knew she had to make a decision… and finally, she did, choosing the man she had been infatuated with on a field trip over the young man that had done his utmost to help her and be with her during her final year in Vincennes.

Konomi knew next to nothing about relationships, especially since she herself had never been in one, but as embarrassing as it was, she had read up on many love stories ever since receiving the explanation from Ritsuko. As such, while she may be somewhat biased when it came to Masaya, she could not judge Ayaka on her decision. She certainly wasn't gaining sympathy from the young naginata wielder, though.

"I hope everything goes well for you, Masaya-sama," Konomi whispered aloud, her voice being carried away by a breeze that passed by.

…

Said Vincennes graduate was currently walking down the stone path back to Vincennes, his hands in his pockets and his pose somewhat relaxed. Despite his laidback demeanour, however, his mind was sharply focused. As he was passing a thicket of trees, halfway down the path, he stopped abruptly. The forest was silent around him, but he could still feel it. The same presence that he had felt while he was with Konomi just a few minutes earlier.

"… Are you done following me?"

Masaya heard a small gasp to his outspoken question, and he turned halfway to face whoever it was that was following him.

He had a feeling at the pit of his stomach that he knew who it was, and unfortunately, his feeling was right.

Standing next to a tree just a few feet away was the light-blue-haired daughter of the Vincennes headmistress, Kitamikado Ayaka.

Silence reigned in the clearing for a while. Neither party knew what to say to the other; Masaya because his thoughts had gone on a rampant tangent the moment he caught sight of the woman that reigned over his emotions; and Ayaka because this was the first time in several months that she had seen Masaya, and just his image was enough to shock her. The last time she had properly seen him, not counting the night she… broke up with him, he looked healthy and full of life. But the Masaya standing in front of her… he was a shell of a man. He had dark circles under his eyes, his pose was slightly bent, as if he were carrying a weight on his shoulders, his eyes seemed colder and emptier, and if her eyes weren't deceiving her, his body was slightly haggard.

Finally, both parties' eyes met, and a multitude of emotions seemed to fly by each person's eyes. The eye lock only lasted for about a second, as Masaya almost immediately broke it and turned away, taking a step down the road and meaning to continue on his way.

"Wait, Masaya-kun!" Ayaka cried out desperately, holding a hand out as if to grab his shoulder. He was a bit too far for her to actually do so, but he stopped nonetheless, though he said nothing for a few moments.

Then, finally, he spoke, in a tone of voice that sounded like it was tortured.

"Is… there something you need of me, Ayaka- _sama_?"

The addition of that suffix, and the tone of voice he spoke it in, made Ayaka take a step back in devastation. That, more than anything, truly drove the point home for her.

This Masaya was not the Masaya she had known half a year ago.

"Masaya-kun, please, I-," Her voice cut off here, unsure of what to say. What could she possibly state? That she was sorry? That she didn't want to hurt him? Those were both things she was unable to say back then, as Masaya had escaped from her sight almost the moment she had told him she had fallen for someone else. And now… it was far too late.

"If there is nothing you need to say, then I will be on my way," Masaya said, his voice deceptively calm. In truth, it was taking all he had just to keep himself like this, but he didn't want to explode on the girl, as he knew that she neither deserved it, nor meant to hurt him.

It certainly didn't make the pain lessen, however.

Despite that, however, he still felt a hand grab his wrist as he turned away, preventing him from moving.

"Masaya-kun, don't go! Please, don't shut me out! I want to talk to you!"

"And say what, exactly?!" Masaya snapped, his voice trembling from barely contained rage that he honestly didn't know he had. He turned his head towards her, his bangs shadowing his eyes, and Ayaka was dismayed to see a hopeless expression on his face despite the anger in his voice. "Say that you're sorry?! That you didn't mean to hurt me?! That you can't control who you fall in love for and didn't want to risk your loyalty wavering?!"

Masaya's voice had been getting progressively louder as he spoke, and his teeth were gritted almost painfully at his last question. Ayaka, similarly, had nothing else to do but stare at him in shock, as he had basically hit the nail on the head.

Then, abruptly, all the fight drained from Masaya, and he slouched pitifully. Then, he spoke again, this time in a defeated tone. "Ayaka-sama… Ayaka- _san_ … I've had more than half a year to think this over… the first month was hell… and it got progressively better, but nowhere to the point where your departure stopped hurting." He straightened slightly and looked away, and for a moment, Ayaka saw Masaya's face twist into an expression of anguish before he took a deep breath and looked at her again. "This was why I avoided you. I didn't want to react like I just did, because I knew that if I reacted in anger, I would most likely say things I could never take back. But more importantly… I didn't want to make you feel bad, for any reason. I can guess what you're thinking, and I noticed how you looked on… _that_ day. The last thing you needed was to see me and be reminded of our past when you were happy enough with... him."

"But shouldn't that be my decision?" Ayaka tried to reason with him. "Masaya-kun… I know that it was hard, but I still want to be your friend! I don't want you to shut me out!"

Masaya emitted a shuddering breath as he closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, but… just the mere idea of having you so close… being friends… it hurts, Ayaka-sama." And there he went with that blasted suffix again. "It hurts more than you could ever think." He looked away again.

Ayaka had no proper response to that. Instead, all she could do was lower her head, her body shaking as she tried to hold back sobs. Seeing the normally almost unshakeable Masaya in this state hurt her more than she thought. "I… I'm sorry, Masaya-kun," she whispered, her voice wavering. "I have nothing else to say… I'm so sorry."

As she was still holding his arm, she felt him tense momentarily before he sighed once again. "No," he said roughly. "Don't apologise, Ayaka-sama. For one, it's useless to do so now. And for another… it isn't your fault." He chuckled mirthlessly. "If anything, it's mine for forming such a dependency on you."

"No, don't you dare say that!" Ayaka screamed at him, grabbing his shirt and shaking him slightly. "If this is anyone's fault-,"

"You didn't let me finish," Masaya said, cutting her off. "This is my fault… because I gave every single ounce of my being to you, Ayaka-sama." That drew her short. "It was my fault for becoming so infatuated… so enamoured with you that I saw nothing else. I knew that you valued loyalty above all else, and foolishly believed that if I gave you everything I had, nothing would ever happen." He chuckled again, this one just as lacking in happiness as the first. "And now look where I am. I gave up so much to you… and lost it all when I lost you. And now what do I have left? Nothing… not a single thing left… but you."

He now turned back to her, his eyes slightly more alive. "All I have left in me is you, both body and soul. But I know it really isn't, which is what truly hurts. It's nothing but a memory; a mirage of what our relationship used to be." He sighed dejectedly. "Truthfully, I tried to get over you. I tried and tried so hard… and yet, it never happened, and because of it… she got hurt…"

Ayaka had been silent the whole time, unable to fully process what had happened to the strong, yet naïve, young man that had captured her heart so long ago, but at that last intonation, she was brought back to the world of the living. "She?"

Masaya's eyes flickered over her shoulder, and he sighed. "Yes, she. A girl who took the initiative when no one else had the courage to do so, and did her best to help me out of my mood without asking anything in return."

Ayaka stared at Masaya uncomprehendingly, feeling as if his voice was getting farther and farther away. She should be happy, right? He was working on moving on from her, some way, and had found a girl that was willing to patiently help him.

So… why was she feeling so painfully hurt?

"If you want, Masaya-san, I can explain the rest to her," a familiar voice spoke up from behind her, though it took her a few moments to process the voice. "I can see that this is hurting you more than you let on."

Masaya chuckled slightly. "I suppose you got to know me thoroughly. Very well, I'll leave you to it. With my memory issues, you probably know more than I do."

Before she could turn and confirm who the voice was, Ayaka found her sight pinned by Masaya's own. "Ayaka-sama… I think it's safe to say that this is goodbye." Turning away, he took one look at her over his shoulder and added, "Probably for good."

Ayaka's eyes widened at this. "Wha… No, Masaya-kun, please! Please, don't say that! I… I still-,"

A hand landed on her shoulder, gripping it almost painfully. It took her a moment to realise that it was Masaya's, and he looked at her with the same deadened eyes he had when he was speaking with Konomi.

He uttered just two words.

"Please… don't."

And leaving her rooted there, he turned and walked away, Ayaka watching as his silhouette eventually disappeared from her sight.

"It's a good thing he stepped in. I was about to stop you, actually."

With nothing to hold her back, Ayaka now turned and confirmed who it was that was behind her. The burgundy hair and cat-themed hat could only belong to one person.

"Tamie…"

The Sombre Scanner had matured a bit in her last year at Vincennes. She had grown a few inches, now nearing Masaya's height, and her face was more womanly. She still retained a little baby fat around her cheeks, but what she had lost seemed to have shifted to her body, as she had filled out quite a bit.

Her eyes, however, were definitely not the same. They were looking at her with no warmth. In fact, Ayaka could say that Tamie was glaring at her.

"Glad to see you remember me, Ayaka-sama," Tamie said calmly. "Not as glad to see Masaya-san suffer because of you, though."

"Tamie, what happened to him after…?" Ayaka couldn't finish it, but she didn't need to.

Tamie sighed as she looked away and placed a hand on her hip. "Tell me the truth: do you really want to know? It's not happy."

Ayaka looked down, thinking that over. She could already see at a glance the damage that she had caused Masaya. Did she really want to feel any worse by listening to the rest from Tamie?

In the end, she nodded resolutely, looking Tamie in the eye.

"Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you," Tamie sighed, straightening up and becoming very serious. "I'm going to summarise it quickly before explaining. You know of Masaya-san's reaction to any small amount of alcohol, right?"

Slightly surprised by the sudden subject, Ayaka hesitantly nodded.

"That was a hypothetical question; Masaya-san told me of what happened between the two of you at that fair," Tamie said with a sigh. A moment later, she looked Ayaka dead in the eye and simply said, "Let's just say that he learned to 'control' it after nearly drowning himself in alcohol every day for a month."

Ayaka gasped and stepped back, hands flying up to her mouth. That couldn't be true! Masaya was still too young by that time, wasn't he?

"If you're wondering what I think you're wondering, allow me to shed some light on the subject," Tamie continued, getting comfortable by leaning against a tree. "First off, Masaya-san didn't buy it himself. Apparently, he got back in contact with his old man and made a deal with him: he'd pay him to buy him alcohol, so long as the old man asked no questions. Naturally, he agreed."

"He did what?!" Ayaka yelled. She could still remember how much Masaya resented his father. Was his pain truly so strong?

"I'm not done, Ayaka-sama," Tamie almost growled. "Anyway, his dad bought him a large amount of alcohol, ranging from beer to sake to even vodka and rum. Masaya took it all to his apartment down in the lower world and, every night, he drowned himself in alcohol until he fell unconscious. He even took precautions, locking himself up in his room and making sure to block it enough that he wouldn't get out easily."

Ayaka stared at the young woman, her imagination running with images of what a stone-cold drunk Masaya would be like. She could barely think of it.

"Apparently, he would set an alarm that would wake him up with enough time to get up and make it back to Vincennes for classes. After classes were done, though, he'd leave right away, and no one would find hide nor hair of him until the next day. At first, the girls and I were worried, and when we tried to check on him, we wouldn't hear a thing from his room, so we assumed he was simply sleeping. But after a month of this, we were nearly pulling our hairs out trying to figure out what the heck was going on. We even asked the Gardiane for help opening the door, and they told us that Masaya was going out of the school every night. Eventually, Rise-san, Chiho-san, Ruriko-san, and I decided to search for him in Tsurugigaoka, and I was tasked with looking in his old apartment. And that's where I found him. I first heard him singing to himself in a drunk stupor, then suddenly arguing with himself, where your name came up many times, and finally just silence. I tried the door, but since it was blocked, I had to force it open. Do you want to know what I found in there?"

Ayaka gulped and nearly shook her head, but it seemed this was also a hypothetical question, as Tamie kept going regardless.

"I saw bottles upon bottles of alcohol covering the floor. So many that I had a hard time picking my way through. The apartment was a mess, and there was only one clean spot: the area where the futon was, pushed into a corner. And fallen in the middle of the entire mess was a haggard Masaya-san, already unconscious and with a near-finished bottle of sake in his hand leaking onto the floor."

Ayaka gasped, tears falling down the sides of her face.

"I did my damned best to wake him up from his stupor, washing his head with cold water and everything. After he was awake, I practically forced him to tell me what was going on… and my heart broke listening to him drunkenly rambling about you, Ayaka-sama." Tamie focused on her and narrowed her eyes. "To clarify… you weren't the only one who fell in love with him back then. Nearly all of us did too, naturally. He's an amazing man. But while the other girls might have given up after seeing you two together, except maybe Ruriko-san, I was honest when I said that I'd be there should you two ever break up. I loved Masaya-san with all my heart… correction, I _love_ Masaya-san with all my heart." Here, Tamie paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "After I heard his story, I made it my mission to help him however I could. I told him to keep himself from drinking until the next day, then went and told the girls that I'd found him and that he'd be back the next day, seriously this time. I helped him make an excuse that would sound believable. I nursed him back to proper health, and even forced him to go to the nurse to make sure that he wasn't having problems due to his temporary alcoholism." Ayaka started stepping back, shaking her head in disbelief as the pain in her chest increased. Tamie was having none of that, though. She stepped away from the tree and began approaching Ayaka, her eyes narrowing further. "I talked to him every day in his room, patiently waiting for him to open up to me even if he didn't want to. I made sure to make him know he was loved, by me especially. I… I gave myself to him, Ayaka-sama… body and soul." Ayaka inhaled sharply as her heart beat rapidly and excruciatingly in her chest. "I gave him my first time, and several more after it. And I don't regret it in the slightest. But even then… even after two months… he still couldn't let you go. He admitted to me that when we had sex, he had imagined you. He had thought back on the times you two did it. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?" Ayaka shook her head morosely. "But I stayed with him. I rationalised that he was still hung up on you and maybe with time, I could help him forget. But he never did. I've lost count of the times he and I have had sex, Ayaka-sama, and not counting those, I have talked with him and pleaded with him and yelled at him to forget you. But he can't. And you know why? Because as I love him, he loves you! And you gave that up for what?! For a fancy that you had during a field trip?! You had a great man at your fingers, Ayaka-sama, and you dropped him so hard that he broke! He's a broken man now, but he doesn't let it show. Instead, he pretends he's fine around everyone. But when we're alone, he opens up, and tells me of his pains and his suffering. And I listen to him, and when he's done, I do my best to try and make him forget. I can't, I know that now, but I'll be damned if I stop just because I think this is going nowhere!"

Tamie exhaled and inhaled, getting some air in her lungs after her tirade. Ayaka just stared listlessly at the burgundy-haired woman, feeling what was left of her image of Masaya shatter and disappear.

"And that's why I'm telling you this, Ayaka-sama," Tamie began finishing up, glaring at her. "I know as well as he did what you were going to say, and I only want to tell you this once." Ayaka leaned back slightly as Tamie stepped right in front of her. "If you try and play with his feelings, like trying to get back with him just because of guilt, not that I think that can happen anymore, and hurt him further… I will personally end you."

The threat left Ayaka weak at the legs, and she slid to her knees, staring up at Tamie fearfully.

"I have worked my butt off helping the man that I love try and forget you. I'd rather not see that disappear because you felt guilty, which you should very well be feeling."

Tamie was set to leave, but a question from Ayaka stopped her.

"Wait… answer me this, at least. Why? Why have you been so patient with him, besides your love?"

Tamie sighed, almost mournfully. "Because… This isn't the first time I've seen a situation like this. Truth is… my dad went through something similar with my mom, and I had to watch helplessly as he spiralled deeper and deeper into a depression I couldn't help him through. Eventually, thankfully, he was taken out of it… the same way I'm trying to get Masaya-san out of his."

And with those words, Tamie left the clearing, and Ayaka remained leaning against the trunk of a tree, her arms around her knees and head leaning against them. In the end, she couldn't help but cry helplessly as she processed everything that had happened. She had made her choice, and while she was definitely happy with Taizo, it didn't ease the guilt she felt at hurting Masaya. And now that she knew how badly she had broken him… she had nothing else to say but the same three words she had said several months ago.

 _"I'm sorry, Masaya-kun!"_

…

…

…


	5. Chapter 5

**One month later, Kitamikado Household.**

Sitting on the sofa of the living room, Ayaka sighed morosely as she cycled through channel after channel of the TV. She was currently out of school, that was true, but she had nothing to do. Ever since seeing Masaya and Tamie again, the wind had damn near been taken out of her sails. Her parents were out to a restaurant, and Ritsuko had gone to visit her pen pal Kayoko, leaving her with nothing to do. Normally, the other option she would have was her boyfriend, but just the thought of him made a feeling of anger course through her.

Just last week, there had been a closing party at the dormitory where Taizo lived. Taizo was a very friendly person, so he happily attended the party. However, during the party, he had gotten quite intoxicated after some friendly drinking, and ended up, well, cheating on Ayaka with another girl, a partner of his in his chemistry class. How did she know about this? Taizo decided to bite the bullet and told Ayaka himself, and to say that she was angry with him was an understatement. She had been downright livid, and it was by miracle that she hadn't completely broken up with him. She understood that he had been drunk, and more than likely, he had been pushed into it by his friends, but that didn't make her anger abate by much.

With a sigh, she stood up and walked to the door, planning to walk around the town and find something to do. She was just at the door and putting her sandals on when she heard a ring of the doorbell.

"Who could that be?" she mused aloud as she walked to the door.

As soon as she opened the door, she was greeted with the face of her current boyfriend.

"Taizo," Ayaka greeted him, somewhat coldly. "Salutations."

However, unlike the last few times, where he had spluttered and stuttered when apologising to her, this time he had a somewhat pensive look on his face.

"Ah, hello, Ayaka," Taizo said, smiling fondly. "Can we talk?"

"I hope you're not here to apologise again," Ayaka said, nonetheless letting him pass.

"Well, I am, yes, but I'm not here to talk just about that," Taizo said as he walked into the house. His short blonde hair stopped waving as he entered, and his green eyes looked around the place. He knew it well now, having visited Ayaka many times before, but this time, it was more for delay than anything else.

"Well, what did you want to talk about?" Ayaka said as she walked to the sofa and sat.

Taizo followed and sat next to her, leaving enough space for them to not be uncomfortable. "Well, first things first, I want to apologise for two reasons: firstly, because I still feel terrible for what I did, and secondly because it will explain somewhat my second subject."

Taizo wasn't often very good with his words, but he was a short-spoken and somewhat blunt, which Ayaka didn't mind. However, hearing the regretful tone in the first half and the unrecognisable one in his second, she got herself comfortable and watched him cautiously. "Go on."

Nodding, Taizo looked forward. However, he began with a subject she never thought he'd bring up.

"You know, I've heard you say a lot about your last boyfriend. What do you think of him?"

Ayaka stared, wide eyed, at Taizo, not really knowing how to respond. A moment later, her voice found its way out of her mouth. "Why do you ask, all of a sudden?"

"Well, curiosity," Taizo shrugged. He had seen a picture of him once that her sister Ritsuko had shown him, but besides that, he didn't know much about the young man.

Ayaka stared at him shrewdly this time, but relented and answered. "He was a really good man. He was nice, strong, and fair. He was naïve, that's for sure, but… that only made it more fun to tease him…" Her voice gradually got lower as she spoke about him.

"I see," Taizo simply nodded, his voice containing none of the jealousy or annoyance she might have expected. "I couldn't help but notice you said that in the past tense."

Ayaka sighed and looked away. "He's… changed."

Understanding that she wanted to close the subject, Taizo simply nodded again and continued. "Okay, then… I need you to completely hear me out before you say anything."

Ayaka nodded and tucked her legs underneath her, giving him her full attention.

"Two days ago, I was at a bar in the city," he began, leaning back and looking up with a sort of bashful smile. "I was still feeling terrible because of what I did, and I was looking to drown out my sorrows. I sat at the bar and ordered a shot, and after it came, I drank it and looked around. The bar was relatively empty, but I noticed another man at the bar that looked very familiar. I focused on him, and sure enough, there at the end of the bar was the one guy I never actually thought I'd meet: Okonogi Masaya himself." Ayaka stared at him in shock as he continued. "I was wondering what he was doing in a bar like that, so I decided to approach him. He seemed so withdrawn, I was wondering if he was already drunk, until the bartender came by and asked him if he was going to order a second drink. He just waved him off and continued to stare into the glass, and I swear, I saw the most desolate look cross his face. Anyway, I sat down next to him and asked him if everything was alright. His answer, I kid you not, was, 'Since when is anything right?'" Ayaka gasped at that. "I asked him if he wanted to talk, but he said that he didn't, and instead, he turned the question on me and asked me why I was at the bar. Now, I had no plans on asking your ex-boyfriend of all people for assistance, but I couldn't help it by then. I let loose, telling him how I had gotten drunk as hell and cheated on you, without mentioning your name, of course. God only knows how he would have reacted." Ayaka silently agreed. "He looked at me with a curious look and asked me to explain what you were like, so I did, again without names or even describing what you looked like. And… well… here." Taizo brought out his phone and began to look through it. "I don't know what possessed me to do so, but I recorded everything he told me so I could go back to it later."

He pressed the play button, and the sounds of a semi-empty bar came from the speaker. Ayaka listened carefully as the sound of a glass being put on a wooden countertop echoed, then a sigh.

 _"I know the kind of woman you're talking about. I loved one like her myself, and as you can see… well, I'm not coping all that well._ _ ***Sip.***_ _Look, in a case like yours, all you can really do is prove to her that you realise you made a mistake. I can't say that it'll be easy. I doubt it will be immediate as well. But… like you've probably heard before, if she's worth it, so is the patience and the perseverance._ _ ***A sigh.***_ _I wish that could have helped in my case, but it was out of my hands, unfortunately."_

 _"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"_ That was Taizo.

There was no response for a moment, then a grunt. _"Thanks, but no."_

Masaya then called over the barman and paid for his drink, then spoke again. _"If you want to help, just promise me this: don't tell Ayaka-san you saw me."_

Ayaka's gasp was mirrored by the recorded Taizo, but there was no chance for him to say anything else, as Masaya had apparently left just then.

Taizo reached over and turned off the recording, then turned back to Ayaka with a very serious face. "Now, obviously, I'm ignoring that last part, but trust me, it's for a good reason." Taizo sighed. "I spent all of that night, and most of yesterday, thinking again and again of what I'd say to you when I came. I went through scenario after scenario, and through every single one, Masaya's words rang in my head. And it was just yesterday afternoon, after having thought up an entire page of apologies and the like, that I stopped and thought back to that meeting, this time more in-depth. And… well, I found something that I had to come to grips with." Taizo, surprisingly, smiled serenely to Ayaka. "And after my thoughts were in order, long after I had gone through every detail of that meeting, I realised that there was truly no other man that would love you… more than Masaya can, Ayaka."

Ayaka stared at Taizo with wide eyes, trying to process this right. Her _boyfriend_ was telling her that another man loved her more than he could?

"But… but what about you?" Ayaka asked almost pleadingly.

Taizo leaned back, the serene smile still on his face. "I will admit that I like you very much, Ayaka. But that young man… what I saw in him is something I rarely get to see in people. He was positively dying inside, but he kept it in valiantly. And, more than that, he knew exactly who I was, and yet he still gave me advice on how to keep you happy. Thinking of how his eyes looked back then, I think that's all he wants in life. Your happiness."

Ayaka sank back into the sofa, her eyes focused on Taizo's face and her mind reeling from his words.

"And that's the second reason why I came here today. To tell you that… I think you made a mistake."

Ayaka flinched.

"I'm immensely glad that you gave me a chance, but I can see it, Ayaka. How you first acted around me; how you made certain mannerisms that at first didn't make sense to me; how you'd refuse to even mention Masaya until three months into our relationship; and especially, how you still know so many things about him. His likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests… and so much more." Taizo's smile became less pronounced as he stared at Ayaka. "I can see it, even if you refuse to… You're still in love with him."

Ayaka looked down, her eyes wide and slightly wet. She couldn't refute him. As much as she wanted to, she had no counterargument.

But even then… she already knew it. She wanted to continue telling herself that she had forgotten her love for Masaya, but that was a pure lie, and she knew it. She could still perfectly remember the meeting she had with Masaya and then Tamie a month ago, and what she had almost said.

 _'What…? No, Masaya-kun, please! Please, don't say that! I… I still-,'_

 _I still love you!_

The unsaid words.

And the ones that stopped them.

 _'Please… Don't.'_

 _'It's a good thing he stepped in. I was about to stop you, actually.'_

This time, Ayaka couldn't stop it, and her tears fell without obstruction. Taizo watched with pity in his eyes as Ayaka seemed to shrink into herself, and couldn't help but put an arm around her, rubbing her back comfortingly. Ayaka took the proffered help like a lifeline, holding onto his shirt and bawling her eyes out.

"I-I thought I w-was past this!" Ayaka cried. "I f-f-fooled myself into b-believing I was over him…!"

"But you weren't, and I could see it."

"All this time?" Ayaka asked with shock.

Taizo nodded. "At first, I felt jealous of him, and of how he seemed to hold so much of your heart. But after a while, and when you explained what happened to me, I understood. Ayaka, I'm sorry to say this, but you weren't all that experienced with love and relationships when you left Vincennes. You still aren't completely there, honestly. And it's understandable, considering you came from such a school. But the fact that you made such a mistake proved it to me. You were inexperienced in the entire matter, and because of it, a 'strong, yet naïve' young man got hurt."

Ayaka sobbed a bit more at his bluntness, finding no way to refute him.

"But it's because of this that you have to make it right," Taizo said resolutely, practically forcing Ayaka to look him in the eye. "You made a mistake, and it has been a long while since then. You need to go find him, and just like he told me, show him that you still love him with everything you've got!"

Ayaka stared, wide-eyed, at Taizo. She blinked quickly, clearing her wet eyes, and nodded shakily.

"No, don't give me that. With that little conviction, you aren't gonna get anywhere!" Taizo damn-near yelled at her. "Tell me something, Ayaka. Is he worth it?"

Ayaka stared at him, her mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"I asked… Is. He. Worth. It?!"

A fire lit up inside Ayaka at his question as her brain finally processed what he meant, and her face almost glowed from it. "Yes."

"I can't hear you!"

"Yes! Yes, he is worth it! He is worth everything!"

Taizo smiled in content and let go of her arms, leaning back on the sofa. "That's what I want to hear. Now, clean yourself up, and go make this right."

Ayaka nodded resolutely and ran to the bathroom, washing her face and even putting on a light amount of makeup. She checked that her hair and clothes were fine, then ran back to the living room, where Taizo was waiting for her at the entrance. She quickly put on her shoes and, together, they walked to the front of the garden, where they split.

"So… I guess this is us actually breaking up," Ayaka said, a little hesitantly.

Taizo sighed. "Yeah, but hey, what can you do? Just promise me something, Ayaka." He stepped closer to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't give up. I know now that, like it was going to be for me, this is going to be an uphill climb for you. But persevere, and I know you'll be fine."

Ayaka smiled gratefully at the blonde man in front of her and leaned up, placing a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, Taizo. Thank you so much."

Without further ado, she hailed a taxi and motioned for him to get in, but he shook his head. "I think I'll head back on foot. You go on ahead."

Ayaka nodded and once again thanked him before getting in the taxi and telling the driver the direction she wanted to go. It was the only place where she could begin her search now.

* * *

A few minutes later, the taxi pulled up to a small apartment complex. Ayaka paid and thanked the driver, then got out and rapidly ascended the creaky stairs, going to the door that led to an apartment where she had both good and bad memories. With a deep sigh to prepare herself, she raised her hand and knocked.

There was no response.

Slightly frowning, Ayaka knocked again, but the reaction was the same. With a sigh, she figured he might be out and decided to stick around, leaning against the rail across from the door and crossing her arms.

She would wait… as long as she needed to.

* * *

A yawn escaped her lips as the sun began to set.

This was getting unreasonable. How could he not be back yet? It had been nearly two hours. Had he moved without her knowing? That wouldn't be difficult, considering the fact that she hardly knew anything about Masaya anymore.

She was just thinking she should leave it for today and try again tomorrow when movement to her left drew her attention. As she looked over, she recognised the two people that were approaching instantly. Both were carrying boxes in their hands, and they seemed to be deep in conversation. The burgundy-haired one, however, noticed the young woman and stopped in surprise, causing the other, chestnut-haired woman to stop in her tracks as well.

"Ayaka-sama?" Tamie questioned, one of her eyebrows raised. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to speak to Masaya-kun! Please!" Ayaka damn near pleaded.

The second woman blinked in surprise when Ayaka said this to Tamie. What was this young woman doing _here_ , if that was the case?

"Speak with him?" Tamie repeated, her eyes narrowed. "Why would that be?"

"Tamie, I know I'm not your most favourite person right now, but please, I need to know where he is. I… I need to apologise to him…" Ayaka said, looking down in shame.

The second woman's eyebrows knitted in confusion. Had she not been told?

A glance to Ms. Okonogi from Tamie revealed that no, apparently not. She recognised the young woman as Ayaka, Masaya's ex-girlfriend. She had heard from Tamie just how bad Masaya felt due to their breakup, but he had told everyone she knew of that he was leaving. Why not Ayaka?

"Ayaka, dear, would you like to come in?" Ms. Okonogi asked her, trying to break the news gently. "I think we have a few things to talk about."

Tamie looked once again at the older woman, disapproval in her eyes, but Ms. Okonogi ignored her and moved to the apartment door, smiling bitterly at Ayaka's thankful and hopeful look. Opening the door, she walked in herself and turned on the lights, then moved to the kitchen to make tea. Tamie moved inside after her, setting the boxes in her hand down on a corner.

But when Ayaka went to walk in, she stopped in shock.

The apartment was almost bare. There was no furniture, the floor was cleaned thoroughly, and the walls looked as well as they could for a run-down apartment. Now that she noticed it, there were a few small appliances by the corner, where Tamie was kneeling and storing them in the boxes she had brought.

Her search was broken by Ms. Okonogi coming back into the room with two cups of tea in hand. She placed them near the centre of the room and motioned for Ayaka to come in, which she did, shakily. Tamie walked over and grabbed one of the cups, kneeling primly and thoroughly ignoring Ayaka. The blue-haired girl knelt near her, grabbing the second cup as Ms. Okonogi came back with a third cup for herself.

"Ms. Okonogi, what's going on? Did Masaya-kun move?" Ayaka asked without preamble.

Masaya's mother sipped at her tea and sighed. She could recognise the determination and remorse in the young woman's eyes, as she had seen herself with the same eyes once before. But that only made breaking this news more difficult.

"Yes, Ayaka. In a way, he did."

Ayaka sighed and looked down for a moment. She had figured that was the case as soon as she laid eyes on the apartment, but she still held hope that she was wrong. But since he _had_ moved, she had another question to ask.

"Well… do you know where he is now? Can you tell me?"

Ms. Okonogi sighed, and next to her, Tamie snorted. "That's going to be a little difficult."

"What… what do you mean?" Ayaka asked worriedly. Did he really want no more contact with her? At all?

"Because Masaya-san's a little unreachable right now."

Before Ayaka could question her further, Ms. Okonogi broke in gently. "Ayaka, dear, didn't Masaya tell you what he was going to do after graduating?"

Ayaka sighed sadly. "I never asked him. I thought it would be too early to decide fully, you know?"

Ms. Okonogi nodded sadly. "And no one else told you? Ritsuko-chan, Misako-san, anyone?"

Ayaka shook her head, a cold feeling gnawing at her gut.

Ms. Okonogi sighed and sipped her tea. "I figured as much."

"Ms. Okonogi, please, can you tell me why this matters?" Ayaka pleaded.

"It matters, Ayaka," the woman responded. "It matters because Masaya isn't in Tsurugigaoka anymore."

Those words stopped Ayaka dead, and she forced herself to put down the nearly empty cup before she dropped it. "Wh… What?"

"Masaya signed up for the army without us knowing," Tamie said bluntly, having finished her tea. She pinned Ayaka with her gaze. "It was hard to take in, but he had his mind made up. So a week after school finished, he went through a three-week training course… and finally shipped out… yesterday."

…

…

…


	6. Chapter 6

The door to the Kitamikado household opened with a short creak, letting in a slumped over figure. As the other three members of the household looked over, they were somewhat surprised to see a blank-eyed Ayaka standing by the door.

"Aya-chan?" Koji, her father, asked worriedly.

His voice jump-started her brain, but when she looked up, she focused on the other two women in the house instead of him, her eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You knew?"

The mother and daughter blinked at Ayaka's accusatory tone, Ritsuko being the one to ask the question.

"Knew what, Sister?"

"You… you both knew that… that Masaya-kun was going to leave…" Ayaka said between angry breaths. "And neither of you told me?!"

The three other inhabitants drew back at her words, with the two females realising just what she meant, but surprisingly, Ritsuko simply huffed and went back to her tea, taking a sip before asking, "And exactly what obligation do we have of telling you of your _ex-boyfriend's_ departure?"

The way she emphasized Masaya's title made Ayaka see red.

"Because you damn well knew that I…! That…"

"That you still love him."

The way she bluntly put it made Ayaka pause, but it didn't last long. "Yes!"

Misako and Koji were looking between the two with some sympathy, not willing to get into this spat just yet. Both parents could tell that Ritsuko was holding something back.

"So?"

"What do you mean, so?! Why, Ritsuko?!"

"I already told you, Sister."

A _clack_ was heard as Ritsuko put down her cup and stood up, blazing eyes pointed at her sister.

"You left him. You hurt him. You weren't there with us as we tried to console him. You know that you didn't try your best to make contact with him. So why should I break that wonderful man's trust in me and tell you something he himself wanted to keep from you?"

The words hit her hard, but at this point, Ayaka wasn't backing down. "You knew how badly I felt, Ritsuko. You knew that I wanted more than anything to talk to him! You…!"

"No, Ayaka-sama!" The name and title stopped the older sister short. "I was not going to tell you anyways! I told you time and again that you made a mistake, but you refused to listen to me! And now look at you! Desperate to make contact with the man who is trying to get over you! You can't anymore, Sister. He's gone. And this time, it could be for good."

Those last words hit her with a sense of déjà vu.

 _'I think it's safe to say this is goodbye. Probably for good.'_

Those were his words from back then, when they had finally seen each other again… and now, they were painted in a whole new light.

"I am going to bed," Ritsuko declared, turning around and heading to her room. "I believe Sister already knows just how much deeper this rabbit hole went."

And with that, she closed the door.

Ayaka stared at her sister's door with wet eyes, unable to comprehend just how Ritsuko had changed. Had she truly been so blind?

A hand landing on her shoulder broke her train of thought, and she looked up to lock eyes with her father.

"I never approved of you breaking up with such a wonderful young man, Aya-chan," he said gently. "I couldn't understand why you would let him go, but this was something you needed to see on your own. It hurts me, as a father, to see you like this, but I hope you learned a valuable lesson from it."

And with those words, Koji picked up Ritsuko's teacup and his own and headed to the kitchen, leaving only his wife and eldest daughter.

Ayaka looked over at her mother, half-expecting to see the same cold look she had received since her childhood, but instead, all there was in her mother's eyes was sympathy. She patted the area next to her, asking Ayaka to sit. Having almost no strength of will left in her anymore, Ayaka stumbled over and knelt next to her mother, a slightly heavy silence hanging between them.

It disappeared, however, when Misako placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder and pulled the girl's head against her own shoulder, letting her rest there.

Ayaka almost gasped in surprise. Actions like this from her mother were still hard to get used to, but right now, Ayaka could sense nothing more than love and compassion coming from her mother.

And after finally relaxing, she heaved a regretful sigh and wholeheartedly accepted her mother's help, her body shaking as sobs threatened to escape her. But this time, she held them back. She had done far too much crying lately, and at this point, it wasn't going to help change reality one iota.

"Mom... Why? Why didn't you tell me he was going to go?" Ayaka asked almost pitifully.

"Because, Ayaka, it wasn't my place to do so," Misako explained softly. "Like Ritsuko told you, I knew that Masaya-kun was trusting me with the information that he was leaving, and it was his prerogative alone to tell you."

Ayaka stayed silent, wanting to blame her mother, or her sister, but she couldn't. Instead, she sighed sadly as she felt her mother softly run her hands through her hair.

"Is there... anything you can tell me about him, Mom?" Ayaka pleaded. "I know so little of him now. He changed so drastically..."

Misako put on a thoughtful expression, muttering to herself, "Well, I suppose I could... He never said I needed to keep it secret..." Her mutters became inaudible after a moment, but she seemed to have reached a conclusion. "There is something I can tell you, Ayaka."

Turning to face her mother fully, Ayaka listened as her mother began.

"As you remember, Masaya-kun was already halfway through his last year when you broke up with him. I did not hear much from him for the next month, but I decided to allow him to leave after classes as he pleased until he was okay. When he came back to Vincennes fully, I called him to my office and asked him if he wanted to talk about it. But he didn't, and instead, he asked me how you were doing. I didn't want to hurt him anymore than he already was, but he told me that he could withstand it. So I told him."

"You talked with Masaya-kun about me?" Ayaka asked, her eyes wide.

Misako nodded. "I told him that you had begun to move on, and of the times you and Taizo-kun went out. And I told him of how you would come back home with a smile on your face. Almost every question he asked, I responded truthfully and as best as I could."

"Why would he ask about me, though?" Ayaka asked, more to herself than to her mother.

Misako answered anyways. "You know, I asked him just that question once. He simply gave me the same response he had to everything else I told him: a serene little smile. Thinking back now, I can only imagine the emotions he was hiding behind that smile."

The two women remained quiet for a little while, then Misako chuckled halfheartedly, bringing Ayaka's attention to her. "You know, as sad as it is to say, this situation is oddly familiar."

"How so?"

"Because it feels very similar to the situation your father Koji-kun and I went through with Tomie-san, only with the sexes reversed."

Ayaka closed her eyes and thought back to the story her father had told her when she and Masaya had been looking for clues and answers to Ayaka's past. She remembered how much Masaya had tried to cheer her up and how he helped her every step of the way, but she did her best to focus on the story her father had told her.

"It does, doesn't it?" Ayaka said after a moment. "Masaya could almost be like Tomie, honestly."

"Yes, he can. I won't lie... When you and Masaya-kun were questioning me about her, I almost thought he was her reincarnation," Misako said, looking down at the table. She whispered a small prayer towards Tomie, then turned back to Ayaka. "I chose to run away from the truth and live in a dream world, Ayaka, and that hurt me, Koji-kun, and most importantly, you. Please, don't make the same mistake I did."

And with that, Misako bid her daughter goodnight and went to her and Koji's room, leaving Ayaka at the table to nurse her thoughts.

Ayaka didn't stay there long. After turning off the lights, she went to her own room and prepared for bed. As she was sliding on her sleeping gown, however, she stopped and took it off, a stay thought passing through her mind.

Wearing only a pair of panties, she stepped towards her closet and opened it, checking the floor of it. Under a couple of old dresses, she found what she was looking for: a flat box, containing only a white, crumpled button-up shirt.

Pulling it open completely, she stared at it for a few moments before standing and walking back to her bed, putting it on as she went. The shirt was still too big for her, but she didn't mind. She flopped onto her bed and laid there, pulling up the neck of the shirt and sniffing it a little.

This was the shirt that she had worn, long ago, the morning after she and Masaya had sex for the first time. She had kept it, mostly due to sentimental reasons, even though they were together at the time and he had stated that she could wear his clothes whenever she wanted. Oddly, she had only decided to keep this one, but now, she was glad she had done so, yet at the same time, she felt saddened in thinking that this was all she had of him. In fact, she couldn't even remember why she had kept it stashed. The entire time she had been with Taizo, she had kept a memento of her relationship with Masaya stashed in a box on the floor of her closet.

Her eyes began to water once again as she thought of the former owner of this shirt, a man that was now possibly very far away from her.

She wanted to talk to him, she really did… but she was too late for that. Now, all she could hope for was for his safe return.

* * *

The next day, Nogi Tamie was lazing around at home when she heard the sound of a knock on her door.

"Coming," she said with a small yawn. As soon as she opened the door, all movement ceased from her.

Standing at her doorstep was a determined-looking Ayaka.

"Ayaka-sama, salutations," Tamie said frostily. "Why are you here?"

"I want to talk with you, Tamie," Ayaka said simply, her voice low.

"About Masaya-san, I assume?" Tamie immediately asked, and Ayaka nodded. "Why?"

"You know why, Tamie."

Tamie stared hard at Ayaka, but after a moment, she sighed and nodded, moving aside to let her enter. Once she stepped in, Ayaka sat at a nearby table, while Tamie sat at the other end.

"Alright, what is it you want to know?" Tamie asked with some exasperation.

"Just what Masaya-kun went through, through your eyes," Ayaka responded. "I want you to tell me everything you can and want to tell me."

"Okay… now my question is, why?" Tamie asked her with narrowed eyes. "You know he's not here anymore. So why bother?"

"Because… I need to know. I need to know how badly I hurt him, Tamie. I need to know… so I can understand how to redeem myself."

"You want redemption? I thought I told you, very clearly, that I was going to protect Masaya-san from you, at any cost."

"I know… and that's exactly why I came to you. So you can see for yourself how badly I feel about what I did to him."

The entire time, Ayaka's eyes had been glued to the table, but now she looked directly into Tamie's own orbs, and to the young editor, Ayaka's eyes were red but filled with determination.

The two stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, but finally, Tamie sighed explosively and leaned back.

"Fine… I'll tell you. I don't think you're lying, but I'm still skeptical." After a moment, Tamie began.

...

...

...


End file.
